Inside Out BLTs and A FEW COMMENT thoughts.

This is my 50th post. In honor of my 50th post, I have GOT to respond to some of YOUR lewd, rude, insulting, and obnoxious comments. I just have a lot on my mind that I so need to get off my chest. This tirade will follow my recipe! Buckle up, Buttercup, it'll be a fun ride.

But first let's begin with this GEM of an appetizer! Actually, this recipe swings both ways, could be a starter or a side. My girlfriend had an appetizer party. Have you ever been to one? It's kinda like a cookie exchange, except you don't bring the appy's home, you sample them at the par-tee. Each person brings their own, along with the recipe of course, and you eat (and drink, and drink, and drink), enjoy a male strip tease or two, toss down a couple of shots, talk about your spouse's prowess, their endowment or lack thereof, and then secretly vote on your favorite appetizer. GUESS who won!?

Gotta love life in the suburbs..The prize for the winner is up to the hostesses discretion. When I was the hostess with the mostess, I not only gave out a grand prize, I gave out goody bags loaded with toys--lotsa toys..

I opted to make Inside Out BLTs. And yes, I can read your minds, this recipe works best in tomato season, with the juicy ones from your garden, but they are pretty damned good with plum

or roma tomatoes also. So, C'mon, put your right foot in and lets hokey. Preheat your oven to 400. In a large skillet, cook your bacon over medium heat

until crisp, then drain on paper towels, and chop it up. Get some gorgeous Romaine lettuce,

chop that up and set aside. Take some of your favorite BLT sandwich bread, my favorite for this dish is Rye, but I only had white on hand, and I didn't feel like getting my lazy ass back in the car to go back to the supermarket. Anyway tear up your bread,

throw it in your processor, and make fine bread crumbs.

Grate some Parmesan cheese. Here you go.

Now put it all these ingredients in a mixing bowl, along with some olive oil, and set aside.

Prepare your tomatoes. Here is your tomato.

When I hold one it reminds me of a testicle. Kidding. Now, Halve your tomatoes lengthwise.

Scoop out the insides, leaving a 1/4 -1/2 inch shell.

Sprinkle the inside of each shell with black pepper.

Brush them with some Mayo..

I use Hellmanns exclusively. MOUND bacon mixture into your tomato halves.

MOUND brings other images into my mind, I am refraining from telling you about it , though. Transfer these beauties to a baking pan. Sing the theme song to The Brady Bunch. Just seeing if you're listening. Roast these guys uncovered for 10-12 minutes, or until the tomatoes start to wilt.

Aren't they lovely?

Aren't they adorable?

Try them, your guests will love them.

Promise. Pinky Promise. You want to know the best part of this recipe... it can be doubled, quadrupled, or oct-tupled, just follow the basic recipe on my key ingredient card and multiply correctly, for crissakes. I have dec-tupled it for a fourth of July party last year. It works. It's an "asked for." If you don't know what an "asked for" is , email me and skip to the lou, my darling.

Onto my comment part of the post. I LOVE comments. I do the happy dance when I get coments. I try and religiously answer each and every comment I receive by commenting back on YOUR blog. It's only polite and I do have some manners and some form of etiquette in my bones, believe it or not. I appreciate you reading my gibberish and I sooo ENJOY reading all of your stuff!! HOWEVER, I have to bring to fruition some of YOUR comments. Because some of you make me laugh, some of you piss me off, some of you are liars!Hahahahaha.. You know who you are, you are like the few, the proud, the marines. XXXOOO..

Just a word.. if you are new to me, you might not get what we're talking of here..these innuendos or comments.. you'll have to catch up if you so choose. And I hope you do.

Oh Boy Lord, where to begin.. How about with you,

Monica writes, Can I have some cOck with that cake please.. Monica, it would thrill me beyond belief if you had cOck with your cake..Frost it and go to town, honey! Just not my FFH's. Although he has plenty enough to go around, I ain't sharing.

Cassie says Tyler, that is MY GUY TY, can squeeze her lemons anyday,you flewsy you, and she says she could say something pervy about her mouth watering..bet I could say something pervier and I bet it would make your head spin. Try me. I am soo up to the challenge Cassie, My Guy Ty squeezing your freaking lemons, don't piss me off missy!

Natashya writes What Cute Pink Balls Your Husband Has,my husbands balls are my business, lady , and I make certain they are never blue.

Proud Italian Cook informs me She loves my fantasy with Tyler What in the world makes you think I am fantasizing?

PigPigsCorner, and Cathy from Noble Pig, think Tyler is looking at THEM, and not ME! Those are fighting words in my neighborhood. C'mon put up your dukes, let's get down to it! Hussies.

The Food Librarian knows Tyler is looking at me, but THINKS Tyler is Cooking for her and George Clooney. Care for another drink there sweetheart?

Something Sweet by Karen says I'll fight you for him.(meaning my guy Ty, his hotness. You will regret it. Go on back to Mr.Rogers Neighborhood.

DoggyBloggy almost wants to talk dirty after my posts, and they somehow get him all worked up. Um, I'm sorry, but is that a bad thing? He knows I need something, but he doesn't know what I need. Then I have no use for you.

Elyse wants to give my Cause You've Had a Bad Day song theory a try and she is going to follow my lead and try christening rooms, airports, taxicabs and the like.. Your boyfriend can thank me via mastercard or visa.

Short(dis)order cook DOES feel a certain connection with vibration when her Kitchen Aid is a running, and Kiefer is on the brain... Oh, Tamilyn got a vibe also. Question is ladies, did you act upon that vibe? I hope you dance.

Chef E wants to sit on My Guy Ty's lap and have him feed her ribs, and then she wants to use him as a human plate. Been there, done that. He's no virgin anymore. I broke the man. Why can't anyone handle me?

Sugamama wants to marry me. And your annual income is? And one more question, do you have any hidden talents involving cherry stems?

Kendra doesn't like thongs but prefers to go Commando With high heels ,a bun in your hair, waving a frying pan, and ruby red pouty lips on??

Kim tells me to Christen a laundry room in a model home. With who, wearing what, door opened or closed? Positioning?

Sara wants me to incorporate the kielbasa in every post, Sara.. just spend the damned $3.99 and buy one. Depending on your stamina it may last 2 maybe 3 romps.AND Passionate eater wants me to enlarge the kielbasa. Enlarge it yourself.. see my tips on sucking a rib to do so.You can do it, pretend your bobbing for apples.

Cathy knows it is normal to christen rooms, and thinks everyone has, not everyone has our loose moral values, Cathy, and she tells me to go and play with a banana. Why , you need a few new tricks there, Cathy?

Culinarywannabee can't get through a paragraph without blushing Expect me to believe that one, don't think so, cutie pie.

Calm InThe Kitchen wonders about Emeril's Johnson size. Yes! Finally someone who admits they think about the size of the johnson.. Emeril's johnson however in my mind, is not very enticing. It's squishy.

Lisaloo LOVES Chef Irvine, because he is a hottie, has lg manly muscles, and an accent. Curious as to what he says to you with his accent that turns you on so? And is wearing chef clothes or not? Details, Lisaloo, details!

I should be watching Canadian Food TV because Cathy , yes the same Cathy who christens rooms everywhere without a thought, tells me that Ricardo's Johnson must be nice, and Natashya tells me to check out Rob Rainfords. You see .. I knew it we all think of the johnsons. We think of the the johnsons. We think of the johnsons.

Carole tells me she knows from experience that it's OK to fart on airplanes. She matter of factly explains no one can hear you with the engines running. Umm Carole, does the engine sound smother the odor also?

Wandering Coyote and Joie de Vivre will never look at Food Network the same again.. Good then, my mission, since you accepted it, is accomplished. Told you ALL it was my fervent hope that your mind wanders to the johnsons of the food network chefs every now and again. It's a good thing.

Amy calls ME a nut, HOWEVER she's the one who admits that she laughs and drools at the same time. Not only does that sound nutty Amy, that sounds rather maniacal.

Spryte and Katherine wonder how I get anything accomplished when all I do is christen rooms? Must I repeat myself ladies, I am Wonder Woman, I am multi-talented, I am double jointed in all the right places, and I drink large Dunkin Donuts coffees daily!

Joie de Vivre claims that reading my blog is her naughty pleasure.Glad to be of assistance. She , along with MommyGourmet, will never listen to the song Cause youve had a bad day the same way again. It's all about the thrust, ladies, it is the thrusting song, glad you see it my way.

Karen loves all the crack pictures. Karen, you love the crack pictures.. hey, whatever floats your boat is fine with me;)

Debby says I am a sex kitten. MEOW!

5starfoodie LOVES all the cracks..I guess like they say he's a leg-man, you're a crack woman. I am a johnson woman myself.

Jesse says I am a sick sick woman and she loves me. Umm, Jesse, I am the sick woman? Your blog is titled We All Go Poopie.I love you right back.

Ingrid, sweet Ingrid, enjoys the fact that I like to be punished by Tyler, she calls me a bad, bad girl, and says I am a bad influence.. her mind goes where it shouldn't. Thats where you are wrong Ingrid, that is where your mind belongs, in the gutter.

Ingrid also admits she does naughty things with the wooden spoon I lent her. Pot calling kettle black regarding punishment, lady!

Jan enjoys the visual of me in a tiger print thong. Kinda insulting you don't enjoy the vision of me as little Bo Peep.

Megan needs a cold shower, she says, after reading my posts.My advice Megan, screw the cold shower, just find your guy, and get down to business.

Now Queen of Comments, Cheryl has plenty to say, hold on to your horses people..She comments Oh My Fing God, I am so excited, I would do anything for Tyler, he makes my heart throb if you catch my drift,Nah, Cheryl , we're all idiots, we don't get it, explain! My posts want to make her rent a porno. Why rent when you already own so many? She rates her husbands farts between 1-10. They make an Olympic sport of farting. Those are her words. Guess youre not rear entry people? She says she COMES to read my blog for her daily turn on. Glad to oblige. She calls herself perv#2. Who, then, Cheryl, is Perv #1?

I thank you for the comments, I thank you for playing back and for not taking me too seriously.