Malted Milk BALL Cookies and Shower heads!

Malted Milk BALL Cookies.. must she put BALLS in uppercase letters.. yes, she must!

So anyway, FFH(firefighter husband) and I were out shopping for a new showerhead. Holy Good Lord, God have Mercy in Heaven, be still my fast beating heart! Have you ever noticed just how freaking erotic the showerhead aisle at Home Depot is? You are just SMACKED in the face with these long shiny thick pieces of metal that have vibrating, pulsating,massaging, round, oblique, and dual shower heads!! All shapes , all sizes!

Showerhead, after showerhead after sexy god damn showerhead.

UMMM, Can I just tell you.. Im talking major turn on people, Major.. If you dont believe me, read the seductive descriptions.. spiral pattern zones, ...( spiral and in a pattern sounds like bliss to me).. STRONG performance... Stream stays tight without scattering(perfect for that right spot, Id imagine) , Flow restrictors (oh, does that mean you can tease oneself or your partner), Handheld massager, MOUNT combo stimulators, superior shower experience, OMG!! Horniness alert!

Just torture me in the middle of Home Depot with my FFH!! I'm telling you ...go there with your spousal unit or domestic partner, and walk through that damn aisle..

You will have the twinge, big time.. If I were a man, I'd have had a ..boner.. for lack of a better word, as a woman though, I just get the headlights a flarin and the twingy poundy thing.. AND holy crap, whats a girl to do..if she happens not to have the pocket jackrabbit in their purse?? When you're having that gotta have it NOW reaction, with these phallic shaped shower heads in your face in the middle of Home Depot, what DO YOU DO! I know what I did. My raging freaking womanly sexy hormones scouted out this baby,

YIPPEE KAYAYAYA MFer.. it was on display.. I gave him, my FFH, you know THE look, he shook his head at me, as he OFTEN does.poor guy, then grabbed my hand and away we went.

Talk about a mind blowingly satisfying, fulfilling, once in a lifetime experience! WOW!! A GREAT ONE!! One for the books. Take your spouse through the aisle... If You take him, He WILL Come.. and with any luck so you will you! Believe me, trust me, you wont even need the foreplay, ladies, just read the damn descriptions, look at the nozzles, imagine the possibilities, and find the display shed.

HOLY CRAP! DO IT, GO ON! DO IT!!! YOU WONT REGRET IT and your partner will love you all the more for it!

I have just one complaint about shower head manufacturers though! They should invent a shower head that attaches these dual heads

to a longer flexible head like this,

for the days you are home alone, and feel like taking a solo pleasure ride kinda shower.. No area left untouched on a woman for those solitary nights alone when a little pick me up is needed!! I would call it the all in one shower head TRI-SPOT!! I should patent that!! Oh yeah, I see big bucks in my future. Big Bucks, people!

Malted Milk Ball Cookies..

This one is for you Cheryl, becausewhile browsing your archives, I saw your favorite candy is Malted Milk balls,

of course your favorite candy has the word BALLS in it, perv#2.. Anyway, this one's for you!

Gather together your ingredients,

Before you begin, coarsely chop up about 2 cups of Whoppers,

or malted milk balls. Set aside. Preheat your oven to 375. In a bowl cream your softened butter with your sugars. Now beat in your eggs and vanilla.

Combine together your flour, salt, baking soda, and your instant chocolate drink mix. I used this.

Gradually add this to the creamed mixture. Now, stir in the malted milk balls

and shape into 1 1/2 inch balls..

HOLY SH**it can I just say all this talk of BALLS is beginning to get me a bit hot and bothered.. Balls, shower heads, balls, more balls, feathers, wait feathers, huh, where did that come from.. . Anyway, shape into 1 1/2 inch balls, or use a cookie scoop, and place 2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet.. I used parchment and silpats.

Bake for 10-12 minutes or until set. Cool for one minute and transfer to wire rack to cool.

Makes about 40..

If you can, try to eat one from the oven or as soon as you can from the oven. The taste is unbeleivably delicious.

If you like a crisp version, do the 12, if you like a chewier do the 10, if you'd like to rejoice do each other.

I hope you like them Cheryl.

Cheryl is going to teach me, not you, me, kidding, how to make jam- she has an amazing method- check her archives, she is loaded with all things good..I can't wait- so these cookies are for her, and this 6 pack

is for her also.

If you enjoy malted milk basll, please see:

April of AbbySweets with her Chocolate Malted Whopper Cookies

Barbara of Barbara Bakes with her Malted Milk Chocolate Cake

Recipe Girl with her Malted Mousse Cake

Julie of Peanut Butter and Julie with her famous Malt Shop Cupcakes.

My FFH , after our escapade, then says to me, You see honey, That is why I NEVER let you go to the sporting goods store alone either.. Honestly though nothing about sporting goods turns me on, nope, not the baseball bats, not the helmets, not the boxing gloves, but oh, those baseball cups, baseball cups, the extra large baseball cups.... gotta run...XXXOOO to all of you for the ultra-supportive comments the other day!