The Ultimate Barbecued Ribs ala Tyler Florence, also His Big Fat Chocolate Chip Cookies, and Awards

Ultimate Barbecued Ribs

His Big Fat Chocolate Chip Cookies

I AM AN IDIOT! Seriously, I am a complete full-blown, major idiot. I have complained to you before about my FFH(firefighter husband) who has the GOG (Gift of Gab)here, but he also has overthinking skills. He thinks and thinks about everything,as if its a life altering decision. And I KNOW this. I am aware of this. This brings me up to the point of me being an IDIOT, with a capitol I. I belong to TFF (Tyler Florence Fridays), a group that cooks a Tyler dish a week of your own choosing, and it is then posted on the TFF blog on Fridays. C,mon and join!!Pretty please with George Clooney on top?

I though I'd be a nice wife, I figured let me ask FFH for his choice of a Tyler dish, anything I told him, pick anything. (He just had to promise to leave the house while I cook so I get my alone time with my guy Ty.)Cyberpeople Friends, it took FFH OVER 1 1/2 hours(5,400 seconds) to pick his choice. HOLY CRAP! NEVERFREAKINGAGAIN! He had to go through every goddamn recipe on the site. I swear I could have made all the beds, vacuumed, mopped, dusted, ran 5 miles, showered, did the hula hula dance, fantasized about 10 times with relief, before he was through. OMG! Shoot me now!

I sat there tapping my foot, strumming my fingers, pulling my hair, pulling his hair, kicking his leg, and then it progressed to yelling at him, threatening no nooky, (then I realized that was my punishment too), took his Coors Light away, nothing had an effect. He had to be sure. He had to analyze every freaking recipe, every stupid ass recipe before deciding. I SO WAS NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!! SO NOT! He threw my whole darned day off!

Anyway he chose these ribs(which of course, he chose within the first minute of looking, but he had to be sure, you know). Now I have chest pains! Agoda! Calgon, take me away and put me in a bath with Ty,his hotness, take away the stress.

Although,I'd be content to go back to Key West,

I am the one next to the guy withOUT sunglasses. That man with the Coors Light on the table is my FFH. We were with my brother in law and sister in law. SANDY, I need one of your margaritas about now, no I need 2. How about some shots! Take me back to Key West where there is the beach

Key West where you can try drinks you never even heard of, Key West where you can have the best damned lobster you ever had, Key West where you can do wild freaky things with key lime juice, Key West where you can wear what you want, or wear nothing at all, Key West where you can bare your thonged butt over the balcony of a bar to cheers from below, and not be thought less of, Key West--where what happens in Key West Stays in Key West! Oh please can't my name be Dorothy and I'll click my heels 3 times. There's No Place Like...Oh No! It didn't work I am here in front of my laptop, chilly, with my large Dunkin Donuts coffee, cream only,

writing to you... thinking about.. getting Tylers SLABS of baby backs ready! Oh look here he is now, ready to go, he's so sweet..

always brings me food and protective things. He always grins with eager anticipation when he comes to scr.. cook with me.

The Ultimate Barbecued Ribs

Original recipe found here.

Preheat your oven to 250. Put the slab of ribs on a baking sheet, season them with salt, pepper,

and drizzle them with olive oil. Stick them in the oven, and let the ribs bake, low and slow, LOW and SLOW, oh Tyler, you have such a way with words, for about 1 1/2 hours.

Meanwhile, make the sauce. Wrap the bacon around the middle of the thyme sprigs

and tie with kitchen twine--- I did not have any more kitchen twine--- OK if you must know why I ran out of twine, I'll tell you. His Hotness and I were role playing with the twine. I wore my tiara I received from Blonde Duck,

and since I am now a princess of pie, I got to do what I wanted with the twine, with pie filling, and with Tyler, my Prince, actually he was my servant, and we, he, me, ran out of it. Twine has very strong fibers. No matter how hard it is pulled on, you just cant break the stuff. BTW, I need some bacitracin for his hotnesses extremities, can anyone help? OK where were we? Deep breath, cold shower, ok.

Heat some oil in a large saucepan over medium heat, add your bundle of thyme, tied with bacon- and I used a toothpick--and cook it slowly for 3-4 minutes to render the bacon fat and to get a nice smoky taste. Add your onion and garlic

and cook slowly, without coloring, --oh but I so love the smell of crayons--,for cinco minutos. Did you already forget how bilingual I am? Add all the rest of your sauce ingredients,

give the sauce a stir,

and turn the heat down to low. Cook for 20 minutes. Put some sauce in a bowl for basting.

Reserve the remaining sauce for serving. Baste the ribs with the sauce,and let them continue cooking basting twice more, for 30 more minutes. When your ribs are cooked, take them out of the oven. You can let them hang out like this until you are ready to eat. I'm ready to eat like now Tyler baby! When you are ready to eat, preheat your broiler for 5 minutes, and broil the ribs, basting with the sauce until browned and crisp. Oh YES!!These were so very good. Got the Its a Keeper words from my FFH, my kids ate them too. Look how juicy they were.. and the BBQ sauce was so smoky, so good, we used the extra for dipping and slurping! Perfect dish fora taste of barbecue in the middle of winter. Try them!Would you like to know how to eat a rib. I can tell you there are many ways of how to eat a rib. It can be a precursor to romance if you eat a rib a certain way. Really. Think of all the ways you can eat a rib.. Think of your guy or whoever, then think of how you will eat your rib if he is watching you. Just look at how my guy Ty looks up at me when I enjoy the rib, he loves when I put on a show for him with the rib.

You must LOVE the rib when you eat it. Become one with the rib. Name the rib if you'd like. Listen, If you need some tips on how to properly eat a rib and suck it dry let me know. . I'm your girl. That's me, the girl-who loves to cook and bake and eat- next door. Tylers BIG FAT Chocolate Chip Cookies

Original recipe found here.

He just had to title them that way didn't he! Damn him. He titles them MY BIG FAT CCC! Why! He did that on purpose. Tyler beefcakes, don't you know, starting anything of yours with MY BIG is going to get all of our attention. Nice marketing factor there, his hotness.

Preheat oven to 350. Prepare your cookie sheets with parchment. Place your butter, sugar, and brown sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer;

cream together on medium speed until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Beat in your vanilla and eggs. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the creamed mixture and continue until a smooth batter forms. Turn off the mixer and fold in your chunks.

Sorry, Ty you buff man you, I used chips, and I used semisweet, my children and my FFH do not like dark chocolate.

To form your cookies, scoop about 1/4 cup dough into your hands and roll into a ball. NOT! NOPE, I didn't do that either. I used my 1/4 cup scooper. Once again, I like to defy Tyler, his punishments are the reason for my straying from his instruction.. He really has a firm john---- hand. It never ceases to amaze Tyler that I don't learn my lessons. Just between you and me CPF's(cyberpeople friends), I will never learn my lesson from him, heeheeehee. You figure out why.

Place them about 3 inches apart(3 inches yeah right Tyler, triple that number, then we'll talk)onto your prepared cookie sheet. About 4 cookies on each pan! Press down tops slightly

and bake until golden brown 12 minutes for chewy, or about 15 minutes for crispy. Or 69 for a happy hour!

Cool 5 minutes on sheet before transferring them to wire racks.These are a true bakery style cookie and they are wonderful!

Perfect gift! Wouldn't you love to receive these!! Next time a new neighbor moves in, give them a plate of these bakery-style cookies

along with a list of tips on how to eat ribs, and you'll have best friends for life. Trust me on this. Just look at the inside of this cookie..

these are soo outrageously good and Ill be making them again, as well as the ribs. Both became keepers!! Score with I mean score another one for TYLER! Go, Tyler, Go down. By the way, this cookie recipe yields 12 bakery sized cookies, according to His Hotness. I got 16..

Onto Some Awards. I am so beyond thrilled to receive these awards. You just have no idea! I received the Kreative Blogger award from Sarah of Mom on the Run.

Thank you Sarah! PLEASE go visit Sarah's if you haven't yet done so. She has LOADS of goodies to share! And I Love her sunglasses! Her cooking is awesome! Thank you Sarah! Following her lead, I am passing this along to these 5 bloggers.. All of these 5 sites are worth your time to peruse. Awesome cooks, and terrific people.

• Passionate Eater
• Maggie at Dog Hill Kitchen
• Mommy Gourmet please try her lemon drop martini...
• Tiffany of Sweet Diversions
• Stephanie of Ice Cream Before Dinner

This award: Blogging with a purpose is from Gloria of Cookbook Cuisine .

Thank you Gloria!! I am so glad I found you!! Gloria has awesome food, beautiful pictures, original recipes, and a cookbook. She holds events and has giveaways. PLEASE check her out!! You are MISSING out if you don't. I'm telling ya'. I'm passing this on to:

• The girls at TylerFlorenceFridays
• This Stop Willoughby
• Lisaloo at One Step at a time
• Joie de vivre
• Lynette at Nett's Nook
• Nicole at Test Kitchen recipes
• Cassie at Cassie Craves
• Lisa at Jersey Girl Cooks
• Hairballs on the Carpet of Life
• Teresa from A Blog About Food

All of these sites are out of this world wonderful. All are fabulous ladies, check them out! Rules for these awards can be found here.

You know my FFH asked for chocolate chip cookies for dessert... he said to make Tyler's. However, I know my very nitpickety FFH. He only likes these chocolate chip cookies..

He doesn't deviate. So, I did the unthinkable. I baked Tyler's for me, the kids, and the firefighter fighter of flames at his station, and I baked his favorite for him. I love him, that's why ..the Picky bastard. Recipe for FFH's favorite can be found here. They are a favorite in Joanna's Kitchen as well. She blogged about hers also.

Czech Walnut Pastries and Milk Chocolate Chip Muffins

Czech Walnut Pastries Milk Chocolate Chip Muffins

This is going to be a fast post, no stories, no glitz, no smut, no joke! You wanna know why? Because of Kevin, the gym teacher at my childrens school. Granite hard yet sinewy, tough as nails yet gentle, 6 feet tall and about a size 12 shoe,-- but who's looking-- and why--, Kevin of the crewcut, green eyes, and crooked grin, is MOVING!! Kevin, Kevin, whereforearthou, Kevin. Sometimes I call him Kiefer. You know when we play Mother May I or Red ,Green Light. And NO, he is not the reason I am an avid volunteer at all school functions. He isn't. I don't care if you think otherwise. Anyway, this has to be fast because there is a good-bye, farewell brunchy-thing for Kevin at the school this morning, and I am bringing these goodies as my donation.

No one has to know how I really donated to him throughout the years, do they? Do they? And again, no, it had nothing to do with hula hoops, hockey sticks, ropes or sweat. You people just assume things about me. Remember what The Odd Couple used to say about people who ASSUME things, OK?

Lets begin right away, straight-on, shall we my cyberpeople friends?

These Czech walnut pastries have been made by my Aunt Dorothy for over 20 years. She first discovered the recipe in Ladies Home Journal magazine, passed it to me, and I slightly adapted it a bit..These are the perfect thing to make for something or someone special. Not only are they delicious, the dough can be made the night before, they keep for 2 weeks, they can be frozen for 2 months, and they can dance with the devil in the pale of the moonlight!

Czech Walnut Pastries

Lets start with the dough. You will need these items.

Don't have a cow, this dough makes lots and lots and the recipe can be halved. You also have to have with you some

Geez, I heard half of you intake your breath all the way here in NJ. Calm down, people, chill out and enjoy the ride. In a large bowl combine your cream cheese, butter, and vanilla.

Cut in your flour 1 cup at a time until the dough is mixed.

This takes 4 cups of flour. Continue mixing till combined.

Don't you love the sound the Kitchen Aid makes? What does it remind you of? Do you ever put your palm on the machine or the counter just to feel the -ehem-vibration as the Kitchen Aid is working? No, huh? I surmise from your answer then, that you are one of those who sit on the washer or dryer when it is churning. And you smile when you do so. Form your mass of dough

into a ball. Wrap this ball in plastic wrap, I shaped mine like a log,

Refrigerate for a few hours or overnight. Make the filling. Get a bunch of walnuts, put them in your food processor

and finely grind them, but not to a paste.

Put aside in a large bowl.

Add some milk, vanilla, cinnamon

and sugar to the finely ground walnuts.

Melt your butter

and then add that, too.

Stir all the ingredients together. set aside.

Ever wonder where aside is? Is it in the next room, is it on the floor, table, windowsill, where is aside? Now divide your dough into thirds. Get a nice flat surface and sprinkle generously with confectioners sugar.

Grab your ancient ass rolling pin and sprinkle some confectioners sugar on that too. Roll out 1/3 of your dough at a time.

Keep remaining refrigerated while you do so. Don't be afraid to use a lot of confectioners sugar.. really aids in keeping the dough from not sticking. Roll as best you can into a 12 inch square. Work fast as it softens quickly. Spread some filling evenly (thats right I said Even Steven)over the dough

Spread it baby. All the way to the edges. Cut into 2 inch squares, up one way,

across the other.

Roll up,

like a bug

in a rug. Give me a hug, Doug.

Place seam side down on cookie sheet, fairly close together.

Bake in a preheated 350 oven for 25-30 minutes. They will be somewhat browned on bottom, but not on top. Repeat with remaining dough. When done baking, remove to wire racks.

Sprinkle with confectioners sugar.

There you go, they are done!

Look at the inside.

Not to claim bragging rights on these or anything, but this is what I call an ASKED FOR. ASKED FOR recipes are the ones you use that no matter where you bring them , you will get ASKED FOR the recipe. This is an ASKED FOR!! Kiefer, I mean Kevin, doesn't have to ask me for anything. I let him have it all.

Would you not?

These Milk Chocolate Chip Muffins are so simple, yet so delicious, and after trying these one time, you will kick yourself for having EVER used the boxed muffin mix. EVEN my children love them. My stepchildren love them. My nieces LOVE them. AND MOST importantly, my FFH and his Firemen fighters of flames LOVE them! Let's face it. We, who love to cook and bake, are happiest when we have orgasms, I mean ,when others are wowed by our food. It brings a sense of joy and satisfaction, just like the orgasm, that only we understand. And the more MULTIPLE compliments, oh so the better.

Milk Chocolate Chip Muffins

Recipe can be found here.

Lets begin by mixing our flour, sugars, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl.

Melt your butter and cool it a bit now , too.

Lightly beat your husbands ass, I mean the eggs.

Got that big buddy. Think of George Clooney. Think how you want to do the Saturday Night Fever dance for your FFH(firefighter husband) or whoever, wearing only your apron with your hair up in a bun and big false eyelashes on.. Make him take out that damn hose! In another bowl, stir together your milk, eggs, vanilla, and your cooled butter until well blended. Make a well in your dry ingredients and pour in your milk mixture.

Stir just to combine.

Now stir in your chocolate chips.

You can also use semi-sweet, but I like the milk chocolate for these. And what I LIKE MEANS..nothing.

Spoon batter into your prepared muffin cups. I used liners to play it safe, but you can just grease them if you so choose. Bake 15-20 minutes

or until Mr Toothpick says he's ready. Cool for 5 minutes in pan.

Take some pictures, once again with the futile hope of getting a picture,

just one freaking picture,

on foodgawker. Can anyone tell me what I'm doing not right here? Lighting, what? Hints, C'mon, hints. Pretend you are Heloise. Remove from pans and cool completely. Sometimes, I am so very naughty and slice them warm, and oh lord, mortal sin, smear butter on it and down the sucker. SOO GOOD that way!! My sister also makes these, however, she uses mini muffin tins, and they are just peachy-keen adorable.

In conclusion, I must go and bid farewell to the gym coach guy-dude. And, no I'm not planning on showing him my-these- muffins behind the bleachers. Get real.